A letter for my sons

Dear Son,

You are kind, loyal, faithful, trusting, and extremely focused on those you love. When you love, you love deeply and carry your heart on your sleeve. You are all in, and want that one special someone until the day you walk down the aisle. You do not desire to ‘search’ around and as you say, “window shopping is not for me.”  So unlike most people at 16 you were looking for a wife. As your mom I was saying, don’t date, slow down,  just wait and this is why…

This is my concern. In this world today, most people believe you need many life experiences, they choose to date many people, and at a young age are taught to follow their hearts. Often times they will for the moment be interested in all the things you offer and play you along that they are just as happy and all in like you and do not express their true feelings until the very last-minute, but instead lead you along on a string. You have to realize that a guy that is marriage minded is what a girl wants….for a moment. But at a young age as this, they begin to start seeing all that they will become and for many the complete and utter focus on you at such a young age is not in their best interest.

Also, because you offer them what they want for a moment, such as the flattery, the loyalty, the commitment and complete devotion, when their world shifts or their interest changes or they were not all in as you once believed, then it is you that is left confused, and hurting and the realization that you were played.

Honestly son, I know you and at times I know you better than you know yourself. My desire for you is that you would maintain friendships until you are ready for the big day that you have a bride. The thing is, when you are young, it is about learning to love and often that young girl is driven by emotion, excitement, hormones, feelings, and still confused about what she wants to do with her own life when she ‘grows up.’

My desire for you, is that one day you will have one that loves you fiercely with a GOD love. Not based on emotions and feelings but based on love that is described in Corinthians. I want someone for you that will stand by your side in the waves of life. But that is a big commitment to ask of a girl not ready for marriage. Heck, I have been married to your father for 18 years and it is still a day-to-day commitment for me.

Sometimes all people are pulled by their desires and they realize that isn’t what God may have for them after all. It is a good thing when someone walks away sooner, rather than later.

For you my son, I don’t believe dating is your calling.  I desire you to focus on building your future, when you are ready to take a bride, it is that time and season that you allow the building process of the friendship around you to take root, or wait for that one to be placed lovingly in your path, by the Father, whom already knows your future. Until this time, a girl is a distraction, she takes your energy, your focus, your time and keeps you from the one that has been quietly tapping on your shoulder, saying… “please recognize me and my presence.”

I know you are young, and you will follow your heart as you always have. I just want to share a bit of wisdom. You are still discovering yourself, becoming the one God created you to be. You are shifting and changing daily and maturing by leaps and bounds, it is not fair to expect others to not be shifting and changing daily in their life process and at times, it takes them down a different road, even if we don’t desire it.
Protect your heart and if I could request it, don’t give it away so freely and completely to anyone except the Lord. Once He holds it, He will give you more than you ever imagined possible.



ps. this is some good advice on the subject 😉


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