Give Yourself Permission To Fail

I don’t know how many people that I have come across in this life that have told me, “I have failed at xyz, why try again? Why should I try anything new?”
My heart aches at the utter defeat that I hear in their voice. Failure and even the thought of it is a solid trauma response for some people.

I want to be able to understand the concept that the thought of failure brings fear or feelings of hopelessness. I too have my trigger trauma responses, in other areas in my life, but when it comes to trying, even with the possibility of failure, I am all in.

I think perhaps failingin my life, in front of many, while I was still young cured me of the fear of trying and failing as an adult. I saw that I was okay, that life went on, and I learned so much in the process.

Like the time I was on stage in front of hundreds if not thousands of people, and stumbled over my words at a Portland Miss Teen Pageant, not once but multiple times. That moment taught me that I don’t have to be afraid of the opinion of others. The Lord used this experience for me to feel free to speak in front of multitudes of classes of children about their ability to say no and stand up for themselves if someone tries to hurt them. To be able to be on the platform of churches and share my heart, or to sing on worship teams for years, even though at times it was messy. I now lead a broadcast and inspire others to shine their light. Do I feel capable? Of course not! Do I know that I mess up? Absolutely! I already know that I am not the most graceful person, and so do those all around me. It isn’t a secret. That is okay, I don’t need to be perfect, and neither do you to step out. You don’t need to be anything other than just what you are, who you are called to be, and being bold is a part of that. Be bold for HE is with you. The God of the heavens and the earth thought enough of you that he placed you on this earth for your purpose. Your purpose alone and nobody else. There is trying, learning, failing, and success.

I have learned over the years, that there are times that the Lord calls me to do what I feel is impossible, and that I am completely inadequate. so that He can show up. I have done many things, that in my own power would never have been able to do.

Then there were times that I know that I was called and walked out in obedience, and the outcome looks nothing like I expected. It was an utter flop and failure! I have even asked, “God, did I hear you correctly? I failed so badly!”

Then, comes, his assurance, “You are basing your success on your standards, not the outcome that I needed to happen. You were willing to be stretched and follow my leading, now watch what happens.” Sure enough, I see His hand use the small seed that I had sown and create a beautiful harvest. Even though I could not see what was coming, He did!

Failure may happen. We may be called to do something that we don’t know what the outcome will be, and we may feel like we failed. We may step out when the timing is not right and it looks deflating. BUT we can look at failing as an opportunity to say that we have tried and have learned exactly not what to do again. I have failed… so what. I may fail again…so what. What is the worst that can happen? I look foolish? Well, I have already done that!
But if ONE person is touched by stepping out of my comfort zone, it is worth it to risk failure. If ONE person is sparked to try because they see how they can do it better, it was worth the risk of failure. If I have learned something, it was worth the risk of failure.

If I don’t risk failure, or if I don’t have an attitude of ‘so what’, I will never see the success of the dreams buried deep in my heart. They will remain dormant because I chose the path of safety.
The greatest truth is that God has called us to be victorious. Philippians 4:13 says it all, ”  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”.

We may feel like we are failing, but we are in process of arriving. When we seek HIM first, He will guide us to the steps of preparing for the road ahead. He will set us up for success. We will not fail, with GOD leading our way, to walk out the plan that he has for our lives. EVERYTHING we walkthrough can be used for His glory. Failure ahead? Maybe there will be, but so what!!!

Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is Freedom

This season has been one where I just want to rest in worship and prayer. Everthing else pales in comparison. I go about the daily and the musts but in my resting I just sit and open my heart to an awareness of Him. I can sit in those moments for hours and it feels as if only moments have gone by.

The words that have been rising in my heart these last few weeks are;
“Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.”

When I am stressing over the medical testing, finances, politics, COVID restrictions, family, my next, or whatever other thing that comes to my mind at any given moment, I stop and just acknowledge that presence that indwells me.

It is not about the ‘rules’ but the relationship. I don’t have to have everything figured out in the coming. I come and He meets me, every single time. There is freedom no matter my mess as the atmosphere is changed when I am aware that He is in it.

The amazing thing about the new relationship with God that we have through Jesus and what he did for us on the cross, is that the veil has been torn. We don’t have to go through all the hoops to enter into the glory of God. We have access to the father at any moment that we are taking the time to be aware of Him.

Think of a bride. How would the intamacy in marriage be if she wore a veil over her face at all times? What if her groom had never felt the tenderness of her lips without the barrier?
So often we keep our walls up because we are afraid we are not doing everything right and don’t want to be exposed. But never forget that the father already knows and still waits with his arms opened wide.

Now mind you there are things that we can do to enhance our intimate times with the Lord, and I will be going over that this month on the topic “Going Deeper With God.” But, we have access to Him at all times. We are the ones that let the barriers rise. He has given us FREEDOM in His Spirit. He has given us access to the glory. The Spirit of the Lord is our gift and connection.

As for me, I am going to drink from that life. I will stop and let the concerns of this world fade away as I just commune with the Father and rest in His glory.
He is a good good father, that desires us to recieve the freedom that he has offered us.

Lift your veil my friends. Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is Freedom!

2 Corinthians 3

Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, as some do, letters of recommendation to you, or from you? ² You yourselves are our letter of recommendation, written on our^[a] hearts, to be known and read by all. ³ And you show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.^[b]

⁴ Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. ⁵ Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, ⁶ who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

⁷ Now if the ministry of death, carved in letters on stone, came with such glory that the Israelites could not gaze at Moses’ face because of its glory, which was being brought to an end, ⁸ will not the ministry of the Spirit have even more glory? ⁹ For if there was glory in the ministry of condemnation, the ministry of righteousness must far exceed it in glory. ¹⁰ Indeed, in this case, what once had glory has come to have no glory at all, because of the glory that surpasses it. ¹¹ For if what was being brought to an end came with glory, much more will what is permanent have glory.

¹² Since we have such a hope, we are very bold, ¹³ not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face so that the Israelites might not gaze at the outcome of what was being brought to an end. ¹⁴ But their minds were hardened. For to this day, when they read the old covenant, that same veil remains unlifted, because only through Christ is it taken away. ¹⁵ Yes, to this day whenever Moses is read a veil lies over their hearts. ¹⁶ But when one^[c] turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. ¹⁷ Now the Lord^[d] is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. ¹⁸ And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord,^[e] are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.^[f] For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

Hope in Times of Uncertainty

Epesians 1:18 – I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people,

Hope is a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.
There is no doubt that in some ways we are living in one of our worst moments this generation has experienced. We have been hit with the ugliest fight in politics that I have ever seen. There are enormously heavy hidden things coming out that are often too much for the mind to absorb. We have had unprecidented natural desasters, wild fires, and hard hits in the economy (again).
Not to mention the required isolation during COVID-19, and an increase in major depression and suicide.

There is so much on the shoulders of mankind in 2020. So how can we walk in hope with the weight that is baring down on us?

We must stir our hope up!

We stir up hope by walking in an expectation for a positive future. We stir up the truth that we will see the victory. We rejoice. We declare and walk with our head on what we are expecting rather than what we are having thrown at us.

We must not look at these times, and sit back with hands thrown up declaring it is hopeless. It is not hopeless!!!
There is so much in these situations to learn and grow. Businesses are being birthed as people are home and needing to redesign their income. People at home are becoming more creative, getting things accomplished that before they had no time available for. Families are valuing their time together in new ways. We are now longing for true connection, that without COVID-19 we allowed to go dormant. Communities are coming together to help those that have faced loss and disaster.

It is important to remember that in our waiting God is there. We are not forgotten. We have a purpose and in this time some of us are just now awakening to what that purpose is.

HOPE– Let us pursue with expectation God hears us and meets us where we are at.
Jeremiah 29:12- Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

HOPE-Let us pursue with expectation we DO have a purpose in all this. We have been created for such a time as this. Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

HOPE– Let us pursue with expectation the kind of person that we want to be on the other side of this weighty and heavy time in history.
Colossians 3:14- And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

HOPE – Let us pursue with expectation that there is a victory ahead of us. We will overcome and be stronger because of what we have grown through.
1 Peter 5:10-  And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

Hope moves us forward. It pushes into our next. When we are feeling all is lost or we are miserable in our situation, it is up to us to look to where our HOPE comes from. We cannot afford to stay dormant and hide. Others need us and we will not function in our best if we hang our head down and walk in hopelessness.
Psalm 121:1- I lift up my eyes to the hills– where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

One way to generate hope is to invest in others. With Covid-19 this may mean some creativity. I have seen all kinds of online support groups and opportunities to connect.
Book clubs, bible studies, hobby interests and ministry pages. There is opportunity even at home to socialize and take the time to instil hope into others. Stirring hope for others stirs hope within our own hearts. Ask yourself if you are called to contribute in a new way to a social outlet. Perhaps start something that has been on your heart for some time. Now is the time to go after it!

God is a God of HOPE. He genertes hope within us as we give thanksgiving.
Start today, thanking for that which you expect and want to see.

I just know we will begin to see great things!

She is clothed in Strength and Dignity

“Strength and Dignity”

Proverbs 31:25
She is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future.
She makes me laugh. She gives hope when I feel discouraged. She reminds me that my mind needs to have redirection when I am thinking of the things that are not life-giving. She is a woman of Grace.  She understands my struggles, either because she has lived them or because she is walking close to the one that knows my every moment and breath.
She is my friend. She is my warrior in battle. She is a Proverbs 31 woman. A woman fully clothed in strength and dignity.

Who is she? She is many. She is the many women that the Lord has put in my life to edify, encourage, build up, and strengthen me in this thing we call life.
In the presence of these mighty women, I can’t help be changed and transformed to be the woman that God had created me to be.

Just as the scripture says bad company corrupts good character (I Cor. 15:33), so can a strong woman influence the ladies within her circle.

Because she spent the time to cultivate my walk, I am able to say that I too am a woman of strength and dignity. I too can laugh at my future without fear.

I have been blessed to have women in my life give of themselves and take the time to instruct and teach the truth. They have spoken into my nows, for the development of my next.

Who the Lord chooses to place in my life has taken turns over the years. But each one that has imparted has made a lasting impact. I remember the women, that taught a young girl, how to raise my hands in worship. I remember the women that taught me how to go to the scriptures in all of my trials, longing, and joys. I remember the women that taught me how to be a wife that saught God’s plans for my family. I remember the woman that spoke to me as a young mother and reminded me that the seasons would go fast and to enjoy each moment. I remember the woman that taught me how to retrain my thoughts. I remember the woman that told me I was assuming another’s heart was ill-intentioned and that I  needed to trust in God for other’s motives and love without restriction. I remember the woman that spoke into my life, teaching me about my identity in Christ.

These many women changed my life from the victim to the victorious. From the mundane to the extraordinary. To a life full of expectation rather than a focus on what was lost or left behind.

Because she was willing to invest, I too can boldly say that I  am a woman clothed in strength and dignity and I can laugh without fear of the future. Because of the Holy Spirit within her pouring out, I was changed.

She is clothed in strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future.
She can walk in this truth as she listens to the instruction of the Lord. She dwells with the Holy Spirit. Letting His power be at work within.

She may not even know the impact she has made. For her efforts may have seemed so small in the grand scheme of things. But to the one that had her life changed, it meant everything.

She is clothed in strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future.

Loneliness: Call Me

 

Awakened Arts: Call Me Anytime

 

Sometimes the damage of rejection can have roots that run deep. I have had seasons of extreme loneliness. Many times, it had been a lingering feeling of not having a place in the world. The mind can play games when you have a lot of time on your hands. The silence can be your biggest enemy.

Often my loneliness had been my own making. I have hurt others by canceling plans due to my illness. I understand their frustration, it would break my heart to cancel and the lies start wreaking havoc about my worth. So then I would not make plans, and the invites never came.
Also,  I am not one to love talking on the phone, in fact I cringe at the thought. I get anxious about the onslaught of sensory overload that inevitably follows phone conversations. My form of communication is writing, or time together, but not everyone works the same way.

Society teaches us to not invite ourselves. And I have done the inviting more times than I can count, only to sit back and watch everyone else gather time and again without an invite. I have traveled 8 hours twice to go spend time with a friend, only to have them unable to go 10 min out of their way to come see me when we were in the same town, they rather take a picture of a building (their bucket list item), than allowing a few minutes for a quick hello and hug as they passed through. It has hurt extremely deeply. And the enemy would use these moments to attack, the remembrance that others didn’t want me, and actually preferred I didn’t exist at all, would ring loud in my head after every new rejection.

There have been times I even voiced my loneliness to others, to only receive empty stares back at me or a nod of understanding but then weeks of silence followed. Even if I was unable to do, the invite would have been a treasure.

I have beaten myself up with lies that I am unlovely and unwanted.  I surely must be annoying or boring or any other ‘thing’ that would keep others uninterested in spending time with me by their own choice, would fill my head.

I even ordered a book titled: Uninvited- Lysa Terkeurst which I have yet to read as I lost it in some transitions.

Imagine my surprise, when a friend heard my words, “I am lonely”, and acted on them. She heard my cry and invited me to coffee.
She shared her own seasons of loneliness. And admitted that the Lord told her if you are lonely do something about it. This truth touched my very core.
I had been letting the enemy lie to me so much I stopped reaching out. I was waiting for everyone else to notice me, in a world where sometimes, this just does not happen.
To see someone so charismatic, beautiful, fun, well-loved, talented, gifted and all other things lovely, to deal with being lonely was a shock to me.

It was a few days later the Lord had revealed a life-giving truth to me.  When loneliness rises up, it is often a tugging and call from the Lord.
He wants to spend time with us. Loving and healing us through our inner hurts. He wants the opportunity to sit in His presence. It is in those moments with Him that I have been given hope, peace, joy, healing, and revelations. It is in those moments that I discovered my identity. I discovered that I am wanted. My pain has melted away and new life rises up.
When I get so wrapped up in the fact that I am sitting in silence and the invites are not coming, I miss the most important invite of all. He tells me I can call anytime. He is there and faithful to seek us out. To draw us near. And meet us right where we are at.

One of my favorite scriptures ‘rings’ so true at this moment.
Jeremiah 33:3-  Call to me and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things that you do not know.  

We are now in a season where loneliness is knocking on our doors. We can not reach out and gather the way many of us value. We can’t busy our thoughts of isolation away. It is the forefront in our mind.

I want to encourage you this day my friend. Call to the Lord, ask Him what new treasure He may have for you. What hidden truths does He want to bring to light? How can only He fill the innermost needs in your life that are missing?

The time will come, we can be busy, social and all the good things fellowship brings. This is a time to call on Him, like never before. There are so many great things to discover.

I am spending time today…. just calling…listening and enjoying.
Here is a song to enjoy in the journey. Call Me 

 

Help

 Art by: Shaey Anthony

Help. Why has this word been so tainted? Why does the word “help” represent weakness to many instead of strength?

When you have exhausted all your own efforts and still banging your head against the wall, asking for help can move you into the greater faster. With help, there comes the opportunity for support and can often bring better results.

I have a vision of a giant city bridge. It is beautiful in structure. But without the support underneath that bridge, it will not stand and extend to fill the gap and do all that it was created for.

There are times I have been frustrated that help has not come. I have been the hamster on the wheel getting nowhere with all my efforts. I wonder, “why am I in this alone?” The answer is simple. I was in it all alone, because I didn’t bother to ask for help. I kept plugging along trying to figure it all out when some of the answers were not attainable to me.

It is wise to reach out for strong counsel when you need help. It is comforting and encouraging to reach out the God that created you to rest in the Lord’s promise that He comes to help in your time of need.
You can rise with confidence that you are not in this process alone. Help has arrived. Asking for help allows a deeper connection. It reveals our humanness. It leaves you with room to focus on the solution rather than the struggle.

I encourage you my friend, don’t walk in your struggles alone. When you have done all that you can do, ask for help to see you onto your best self. Ask the Lord to comfort you, encourage you, give you wisdom and open the doors to propel you on.

Think of the bridge again. This time we are thinking of a draw bridge that is open. You can make it part of the way, but you can not cross to the other side until the bridge is lowered and connected. You are on one side, standing it alone. Your hopes, dreams, and goals are waiting on the other side. Ask for help to connect your bridge.  Use the effort you have put in, and the effort, wisdom or support of another to fully arrive.

Along with resting in the Lord and His promise of help, sometimes He will use others.
Ask those around you for help. Look to a professional for help. But please stop trying to do it all on your own. Depression, isolation, and defeat is not a sign of strength, rather, it will take you longer to arrive (if you even do). And you may just have been striving for so long and hard that you show up too exhausted to enjoy the fruit of arrival.

Asking for help is not a weakness, in fact, it just may be the strongest thing you ever did in your life. I will start my mornings asking God to help me when morning dawns and I will not be moved in my strength!

A Time to Bloom

 Awakened Arts

Luke 12:27 
“Consider how the wildflowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all of his splendor was dressed like one of these.” 
 

As spring is approaching, I can not get the word “bloom” out of my mind.
I feel a tugging in my spirit that the long-awaited time will one day be over and the beauty of what God has planted within me will come into fruition.
I do not know what that will look like. But I am reminded that it will be in HIS season. Just as each flower has the perfect time to display her glory, so will I have a perfect time to share what is unique only to me. It will be my time to bloom as assuredly as the sun will rise.

Bloom: 1. a flower, especially one cultivated for its beauty.

A flower can be wild and free. But still needs to be planted on the right soil to flourish. She will still need to take root. She will need to be nourished. She will be cultivated (refined) in her process.

I find that I have had many seasons in my life, where my blooming process has seemed to be delayed. Sometimes this is the hand of the Lord, refining me, cultivating me and preparing me. Sometimes it has been a harder year and I am reminded of a late frost delaying spring, as life circumstances swirl around me.
Lastly, there is also the factor of the soil I have been planted on. In order to bloom, we need proper nourishment. If I am not growing in the areas the Lord needs for me to grow in, I will not find my time to bloom.

I am one that will need a bit of coaxing to step into the unknown and unfamiliar. I do not like change, or trying things that I feel less than qualified for, and honestly, I feel less than qualified in every area.
I have dealt with the lies of the enemy that nobody wants what I have to offer. I have viewed myself as the weed instead of the bloom to be.
I have sulked and hidden away when I am called to weather the nitty-gritty and to grow a nice strong stem. For without that strong stem, it is impossible to hold the bloom up high.

There have been times I am called to step out and ‘transplant’ to the proper ground for the cultivation needed to bloom at the ideal moment.
I am so thankful for the seasons, for the gardener that knows what I need, even before I do.
The Lord is the master gardener. In His care, I do not have to toil and spin.  He cultivates and uses the tools to give me the strength to become what He is calling me to.
He brings those beside me, that helps nourish the soil that builds strong roots.
It is true that in the process of growing there were times I wasn’t sure what I needed.
But the gardener was.  He will bring along all the right influences, encouragements and opportunity to bloom when it is my time.

The very meaning of bloom is to peak at an ideal moment.

I won’t rush. I will wait for the gardener. I will not labor and spin. I will rest in the knowledge that He already sees the day of fruition.
Just as it is supposed to, a time to bloom will arrive.

Don’t Eat The Doughnut

“Don’t eat the doughnut!” I felt these words in my spirit the minute I smelled the deliciousness in the room. I have a lot of food weaknesses. But there is something about the soft and sweet maple bar that will make me cave every time. I tell myself just one won’t matter. That a little bit of gluten and a little bit of sugar will not hurt me much and the delight for the moment will be worth it.
So I cave and I eat the doughnut.  And here lies the problem.

One doughnut may have been fine. But I have an emotional attachment to food. When I open the door to the one doughnut the next day when I am faced with an opportunity to cave again I will.  If I have hit some major stressors I will justify and tell myself, well I had gluten and sugar yesterday so I may as well. And the shield is down, the armor exposed and the battle is lost. All because I didn’t listen to those four little words. “Don’t eat the doughnut!”
Some of us in the battle of our illnesses have been given clear direction on how to be well. Most often that lies within the healthy choices we put in our bodies and exercise.  To do the things that will give a harvest of health we must take action. I can’t sit around waiting for health and eat the doughnut, or skip the gentle exercises and complain when I can hardly move the next day. For me personally, each day that I cave, makes me feel like I have to start all over at climbing the huge mountain.  My flares, thyroid, eyes, dizziness, and heart are all often the direct result of me not obeying what I know is right for my body.

It IS hard in this society to live a clean and healthy lifestyle. There are temptations all around us. The cravings are real as your husband is across the room eating everything you can’t touch and you have been living on vegetables for a week.  I want to be ‘normal’ and feel well and I want the junk too. But here is the reality, If I want health I need to listen to my body. I need to listen to the wise counsel that says, “Don’t do it, don’t eat the doughnut.”

I am at the bottom of the mountain again. I now weigh more than I ever have in my life, my pain levels are off the charts and all the other symptoms in a flare.
I have bee so lenient that I now have to start clawing my way back up to health from scratch. So I am building my truth tips to saying no to the doughnut and yes to my health, maybe they will help someone else as well. I have risen before and I will do it again!

1. Have alternatives handy-
When I am at a party, event or running around town with the hubby, I will cave every single time if I get hungry and I have no other choices around me. Keeping a bag of almonds, a healthy drink, or other allowed foods will keep me in check when the worst cravings arise.

2. Recognize your triggers-
It is important to examine your food triggers. Stress, emotions, loneliness, and boredom are my biggest triggers. Find alternatives to those food triggers that do not cover the issue, but address it. For example, I now know if I am eating out of boredom, I need to start writing, painting or play with the puppy. If I am lonely I reach out to others. If I am stressed,  I deal with the issue of looking at God’s truth about anxiety and worry instead of eating and just covering the problem in a moment.

3. DRINK-  
Dehydration is a health plan killer. If I get dehydrated, my crazy brain thinks I am hungry and I try to fill the void up with food. I feel foggy, achy, moody and all around off if I am not drinking my water. A bottle that I refill is my best aid. I don’t like the taste of water in a glass, weird I know and I don’t like water from the tap. So for me, a good filter, a bottle and even some slices of lime or lemon help me stay on track.

4. Start small-
If I try to cut out everything in one day and exercise an hour at a time right out of the slump, I will hurt, be frustrated and quit.
So I start usually by going gluten-free and drinking my water. I add some activity to my daily. I start slow. Then I add extra changes to health such as food restrictions and more time exercising and moving.

5. Be intentional and realistic-
My goal is health. Yes, I want to lose all this extra weight but ultimately I want to feel good and not be in a messy flare. I need to be intentional in reaching my goals. I will not be successful just wishing for it.  Know what you want and make the choices to get there.
I need to remember I did not develop bad habits overnight and it will take time to see my result. I will still crave the foods for a season and I will still want to eat the doughnut. Walking in true health for me is not denying the struggle, it is taking up my shield and overcoming the battle.

It is time to stand and hear with a heart that listens.

Love them… Lead them…Let them

 By: Awakened_Arts 

The first and greatest commandment is to love. So often we hear that Christians are despised because they are judgemental and do not show kindness. Christians often confuse their role of loving someone as they think that because of the love they want to show them the way so much that they do in fact become judgemental.

Looking at the definition of LOVE according to Corinthians…
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

This is THE standard of love. So first and foremost we are to love others as God loves His children. We are to be kind and patient and not dishonor.

With that being said, when we have someone we love we are called to lead when we see a pattern of living in destructive choices. Whether they are a Christian or not, we can lead them. Lead by example, lead by action and lead by sharing wisdom. Sharing is not judging. Sharing is not shaming. Sharing is being honest in love with the hope that abundant life will be the result.
I lovingly shared how I saw all the destruction addiction was having on my loved one.
I lovingly shared that there was a better life. There was a life of goodness waiting. I shared how valuable and loved they were.
Same with my loved ones living an unhealthy lifestyle. I also shared how much I mess up my own walk of healthy choices. Being exposed, real and vulnerable.
The snag here is, often when you lead by sharing a better life, those that are not interested or not wanting a change can get defensive. But I ask you, have they become defensive because you mentioned something that concerns you in love with someone you have an established relationship, or are they defensive because you are pushing an issue that they have given you no place to speak into? Also, are you pushing the issue every time you see them?  There are times you must speak out, no matter the response because you are looking at a 911 situation. But, I admit that I have over spoken when it has not been my place (shocker I know ). I have been so excited for another to receive freedom, that I neglected to see the heart. I neglected the loving them first and foremost. Instead of loving as the father I rushed into the fixing and that is not my place.

We all have choices in this life. We all have the right to live how we choose. There comes a point that when you share what you feel may be healthier and produce abundant life, that if someone chooses not to follow your lead, that you let go.
Love them…lead them…let them.
By insisting someone makes the choices you make and then if they don’t you condemn them, you are giving the very opposite of true love.
This brings to mind, however,  that there are times you have loved, lead and then people living in their choices are in fact destroying you. They may destroy your peace, they may destroy your safety, they may just break you personally because your heart is so attached to them. Again… let them. Let them be in their choices and move on.
Jesus himself said (Matthew 10:14) if they do not receive the message you bring to dust your feet and move on. Invest where the investment is welcomed.

The painting above is titled “Goodbye”. The darkness represents all the hurts and blows from those that have rejected her, shamed her, left her, and not received what she had to offer. But the beautiful colors represent what is ahead as She has loved… She has led…. and now She must Let. It is not her place to carry the weight of an other’s unhealthy choices. It is her place to settle in the JOY of knowing that she did as she was called.
May she never forget that first she was called to LOVE.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 

Discontent? Perhaps its time to Disconnect!

My husband is most often a happy go lucky encourager. It isn’t very often that he becomes cloudy and in the dumps. So I asked him the other day if his emotions come in waves at all like the hormonal mad woman that I can be at times lately. I asked if he feels discontent and just doesn’t show it. He thought for a moment and his answer resonated with me.

He said, “I feel a quick rise in frustration or joy when things in life happen. I get mad when someone cuts me off in work traffic or a customer comes at me in ignorance. It is a moment and fades. But you know, what really gets to my emotions is the posts on social media. I have to be mindful to not spend much time on the negative junk that is posted. I can rise in anger at injustice or politics. I can sink in the dumps when I see what others have where I lack in talent or luxuries. I can feel unmotivated when others are doing what I want to be doing but don’t know how or feel I can’t leave my profession. A lot is to be said about what your thoughts are on. Until social media, I was a lot easier going than I am now if I let the junk in.”

I too have felt this very thing. It starts as a little stirring of discontent. Perhaps as you scroll you see someone far more talented than you see yourself. You compare and your brain begins to scramble with all the thoughts of how you can improve or how you can measure up, or even how you just can’t. Then you see a political post that you are the polar opposite of and you grow frustrated how far one way or the other politics has swung. Your mind is filled with even more scramble and emotions.
Maybe you make an innocent comment on a post and you are attacked with bullies hitting you in very personal ways. Add more scramble and discontent. Then you disconnect from those that are around you.
If you are unmotivated and discontent in your creativity perhaps you need to disconnect from comparison and seeing what everyone else is doing.
If attitudes you hear and read are affecting your own attitude, disconnect from the ugliness. The onslaught of thoughts can be so overpowering, the mind becomes scrambled and what is truly important can be tangled in the mess. Perhaps the rise of depression is linked to time spent online and not face to face with others, or tangible creative opportunities and living life without the screen in your way.

Maybe the solution for discontentment is to disconnect from social media outlets for a season, or online gaming. If you are just not resonating and connecting to people that are around you in the flesh it is important to see what is in your way. I saw a little girl crying and completely upset and her mother doing nothing more than scrolling her phone and pushing her child away. Another little boy fell and hit his head hard, and the mother had a very little reaction for her hurting child. We have to disconnect in alarming ways! We are not hearing the heart of others. We are not regulating our own emotions.

Social media, as a tool for marketing business or connecting with people, is great. But when seeds of discontent begin to be planted and the more you submerge into the cyber world the more discontent you can become, It can pour out into the attitude and emotions in the life around you. It is time to disconnect from the source of death and to reconnect with life-giving resources.

I ask you to listen to the words of wisdom of my love. If you are feeling disconnected or ‘off’ or if you are feeling more temperamental then perhaps look at how much time you are spending with screen time outlets as your social connection. Maybe it is time to disconnect from that screen and connect face to face.